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18
MarThis Woman Can Read Maps
Jacob, a former flatmate and a good friend when asked for directions used to begin with ‘walk west and then take the turn north….” and mystify me! How the hell was I supposed to know where west was?? I don’t mean that literally of course! I do know my directions but I was used to getting responses like “take the left turn near the big gurudwara and walk until you reach the lassi stand and then take the second right”. How would I know directions in relation to where I was living/standing/walking? And more importantly, what were pedestrians and passers-by for if not to ask for directions?
Then came the time I was attending a conference in Sweden and happened to have a day free to explore Stockholm. I got myself a map and tried really hard to be one of ‘them’. I realised how bad I was because I was holding up pavement traffic! I was one of those annoying slow walkers stopping every few minutes to look up and check the alternately numbered buildings for my destination, and still managing to be hopelessly lost. I even used to turn the map to suit the direction I was walking in so as not to be confused by which end of the street I was at…Hold on, don’t leave yet! This story has a better ending.
That day in Stockholm I managed to get to places rather than walking around in circles endlessly only because the awesomely handsome and kind Swedes were more than happy to help a cartographically challenged Indian girl.
Fast forward to now and I am a schedule and directions strategist. I check tram and bus schedules online hours before stepping out. I plan how many minutes it will take me to walk as against ride a bike to the cinema. I never…ok! - hardly ever…ask for directions and instead, like every other regular person, get them off Google maps, and chart my bike and walking paths. All hasn’t been conquered yet! Not being a natural born with an instinctive sense of direction, I do have to go to a place multiple times before I remember the route without having to reference it. But well…
Now for those guttural German sounds and I’ll be ready to wear the dirndl and do the schuhplattle dance.
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4
DecOf Winter Moods & Comfort Foods
I was recently at my friend Mona’s home for dinner, and she had her friend Judith visiting. We were cooking dinner, and Judith made very yummilicious and authentic parathas, dal and rice. Add to the mix, some pickle, raita and a potato curry, and we were all set for a food coma.
While we were stuffing our faces, Judith commented, “My comfort food is hot rice with dal and dahi. That is why I am so f***ed up. I don’t have any German food that comforts me.”
The comment struck me, especially since when we feel blue or low, food that is familiar is such a source of comfort. A professor at university here in Heidelberg, had recently asked my friend who was going to Delhi to bring back bread from Germany for her, because she was craving ‘real’ bread.
This season, I have been having a bad case of the winter blues. I am at my non-social best and this moodiness makes me feel like the enthusiasm has been sucked out of me. This is pretty hard for me to admit to, because I am usually the annoying, perpetually excited person they warn you about.
So today, I went to the local Indian grocery; the place that is my fix for my comfort food needs. After a lunch of dosa and chai, I raided the shelves and here is some of what I bought. Instead of the light therapy a friend suggested I go in for to cure my blues, maybe this is what will fix the feeling of general malaise.
Chai: Strong black tea with milk and sugar. A big cup of this and all is right in the world again. Come winter and you will see my go through a box of 80 tea bags at supersonic speed. Ideally I would be making the tea the traditional way, but good ol’ PG Tips is strong enough to compensate for the no-boiling-tea-leaves method.
Parotas: This is where the Malayali in me becomes evident. In my attempts to cook so that I don’t end up eating the same thing for days together, I sometimes make different kinds of vegetable curries and subzis and team them up with these great Kerala parotas. Bliss!
Maggi: Ok! I admit! I’m weak and I love Maggi! A German brand that is a household name in India since it launched in 1983, it was the mainstay of my days in the university town of Manipal, where I was doing my Master’s degree. Served in a crazy number of ways there, you could order cheese maggi, cheese vegetable maggi, egg cheese maggi and innumerable other permutations and combinations. So a packet of this makes me a happy woman to this day. And of course, the Germans have never even heard of masala Maggi, which is why only the Indian store stocks it.
Filter coffee: Brought back after a trip to India, a good cup of traditional south Indian filter coffee, made using my filter coffee-maker and coffee from Bangalore, does make winter seem like a far more interesting prospect.
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23
Nov"If you reject the food, ignore the customs, fear the religion and avoid the people, you might better stay at home."
- James Michener -
22
NovEver wished you had a German around to teach your employees about efficiency, help you organise your life or learn how to wangle a sun lounger for yourself while on a beach holiday?
Well! Then why don’t you rent a German?!
This week’s resource is a tongue-in-cheek one! Set up by new media artist Johannes Blank who was tired of the clichés people threw at him as soon as they found out he was German, the website quickly took on a life of its own. He had people writing in from around the world to try to rent a German! … And then, there were the Germans who wrote him detailed applications boasting of their talents, and asking to be hired. Since being set up in 2005, the website has had more than 2 million visitors!
If you want to read more about Johannes Blank and his work, why don’t you look him up here.
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20
NovYou lost that lovin’ feelin’
My post today is about the Plöck in Heidelberg, about missing the obvious and gratitude. Heidelberg is a lovely city, and when you look up the pretty sights, you most certainly will not see the Plöck listed amongst them. It is a long, narrow street, with buildings on either side that obscure most of the skyline and almost always has a crazy mix of cyclists, pedestrians and cars that use the road simultaneously. I don’t mean the footpath, because its width defies any expectation you might have of trying to walk on it.
Today, I was walking along the Plöck with Deepti, a friend of mine and she pointed to one part of the street where the view opens to reveal a verdant hill against a lovely blue sky. I cycle up and down the street pretty often and though I’ve glanced at the view a few times, I haven’t really paid much attention to it. She then told me a story of her initial days in Heidelberg. She was walking along the same street with a friend of hers who had lived in Heidelberg for sometime. Stopping when she saw the hill covered with pretty spring blooms, she had exclaimed to her friend “Look! How beautiful!” Her friend had no clue what she was talking about, and when Deepti explained, her friend seemed a little baffled by it. She had never really noticed this particular view or felt like it was particularly attention-worthy.
Zipping back to here and now, Deepti has lived in Heidelberg for quite a while. And both of us often moan about how Heidelberg isn’t really the hot-bed of excitement, and of how the fun stuff that one could do here is pretty limited.
Of late however, I have increasingly been reminded of how lucky I am to be staying in this city. Surrounded by history, enjoying walks by the river and up the surrounding hills, and being able to cycle everywhere. There is a reason after all why it is on the must-visit list of the hoards of tourists who descend on it every year.
So after reading this, why don’t you take a minute. It won’t hurt, I promise! Think about it - who or what are you taking for granted in your life right now?
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15
NovRemember?! This weekly feature will give you a Germany-related link, a tip, a phrase or a word.
We’re halfway through November and the Christmas markets around Germany are going to begin soon. My good friend, Christoph tells me that it’s only the tourists and non-Germans who do crazy stuff like Christmas market hopping. Having done it, I can tell you there’s nothing better than wandering around in a pleasant haze induced by one too many glasses of glühwein (warm mulled wine) and a belly full of lebkuchen (gingerbread), while staring at pretty lights.
In the spirit of Christmas markets and other fun stuff to do while the weather is trying hard to keep you indoors, I have this fantastic website for you this week. It gives you the best cultural festivals you can attend, whether you have a free weekend or even a month backpacking through Europe. Listing everything from regional beer festivals, music festivals, food festivals and top events in the big cities, it is my favourite go-to spot online for travel inspiration.
Correction: Christoph says that Christmas markets like Nuremberg and Rothenberg are popular with tourists, but locals too enjoy having their feierabend (party evening or post-work evening) glühwein in their town’s Christmas markets.
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12
NovOf Birds, Bees & the Whole Shebang
A friend recently sent me a video of an American stand-up comedian talking about her dating experiences in Germany. It made me crack up, because after spending a few weeks in Germany, the first realisation I came to about the love and romance scene here was - men don’t even look at women!
I remember how mystified I was by the seeming absence of mating rituals in Germany. Even while using public transport, walking around the city and people-watching, I failed to catch any flirtatious glances, vibes … anything at all to suggest the invitation to romance between a man and a woman! And yet, there were a number of very happy couples around. How exactly did the Germans get from Point A - being single, to Point B - finding a partner? I was obviously missing something here…it needed further investigation.
So, at a party, fortified with a couple of glasses of wine, I asked a German colleague, “Do German men not look at women?”
He was a little taken aback. “Why do you ask that?” he said.
When I explained, he replied, “Of course German men check out women, but they are so subtle that you couldn’t possibly catch them at it.”
I couldn’t quite accept that answer. I mean, come on! Women are pretty geared to sense these things, or so I thought.
Months went by, and I was still intent on finding an answer. I made new friends in Heidelberg, some of them American, and they also complained that they needed cultural translation when it came to understanding how love and dating worked in Germany. So in the greater interest of the non-Germans I knew, I continued posing the question to all my German friends and acquaintances. Then came the second interesting explanation. A German friend said that the culture in post-war Germany was one where overt masculinity was discouraged. Added to the mix, decades later, the women’s movement which branched out of the students’ movement, had women increasingly taking charge. My friend so claimed, that now when it comes to romance, women are the ones making the first move, taking an affair forward and deciding on how things will go.
Since I love hearing multiple, zany explanations for something that strikes my fancy, I kept at it. My favourite explanation that is not quite an explanation is this fun song by the funky German band, Wir Sind Helden. Listen to it! I also have an awkward English translation of the song for you here below, but like I said, it’s a matter that needs continued investigation!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6dPPBhttrpA
“Aurélie” by Wir Sind Helden
Aurélie’s accent is very charming without question
Even when she is quiet she is noticed as being wonderful
She does not have to be sparing with her charms
Because her hair is sea and wheat
Even bald everyone will adore herBut Aurélie never gets it
Every evening she wonders
‘When will someone fall in love with me’Aurélie, it will never work that way,
You are expecting far too much.
The Germans flirt very subtly.Aurélie the men here like you a lot
Look! On the street everyone looks at you
But you don’t notice anything because they don’t whistle
And they flee if you do
You have to know that less is often more hereOh Aurélie, in Germany love needs time
Here, one is ready for the first step not until days later
For the next weeks you talk
You size each other up thoroughly
And only then do you meet as a pairAurélie, it will never work that way
You are expecting far too much
The Germans flirt very subtlyAurélie, it’s just not that simple
Here different words have different import
All the boys at your feet want to kiss you … also the cute ones
But you don’t notice it
Because he’s talking about football at the same timeOh Aurélie, you say I should explain to you
How on earth Germans breed
When all the flowers and bees on Berlin do nothing but smirk
And don’t give a damn about issues of pollinationAurélie, it will never work that way
You are expecting far too much
The Germans flirt very subtlyP.S: For those of you who want to watch the American stand-up comedian’s who cracked me up!
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1
9
Nov"To travel is to discover that everyone is wrong about other countries."
- Aldous Huxley -
8
NovGerman Resource of the Week (GRW): Phrase
This weekly feature will give you a Germany-related link, a tip, a phrase or a word that will have you gasping in awe, shrieking with joy and hopefully begging for my bank account number so you can transfer me some money.
This week I give you a Deutsch phrase. The phrases I choose might not go far in getting you a Goethe Institut native speaker certificate (do they even exist?!), but it will help establish your street creds in Deutschland, drink the “right” beer (based on which part of Germany you want to stay in of course!) and be part of the heimat!
Wie geht’s?
Pronunciation: vee-gates
Meaning: How are you?
Now, this should be your opening line in any conversation – unless you’re at the immigration office to extend your German visa. Said in the right tone, with a swing in your stride and the right kinda eyebrow lift, you might just snag a hot date! Ok, I’m exaggerating … but it isn’t it cooler than just saying ‘How are you?’
Though it might not seem like it, this is a life-altering kinda phrase to learn!
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7
NovOf Apfelschorle & First Impressions
First impressions are not as important as everyone makes them out to be.
I cannot even begin counting the number of times I said I didn’t like a particular person, or place or food at first only to adore him/her/it later! And then you think about your initial impressions and laugh about it, because your life would have been so different without this encounter.
My move to Germany was not very planned. I was working in a publishing firm in New Delhi, and knew I wanted to pursue a course some where outside India soon. A helpful friend pointed out a call for applications for a scholarship for a PhD programme and before I knew it, in six months I was moving countries.
My first month of adjustment seemed to last forever, but ask me now and I wouldn’t trade this for anything in the world.
The story I tell you today is a little bit about first impressions and the getting-to-know process which is always fun (at least in hindsight!), whether it is a person, a place or food! You first need a little background on Germans and get an idea of how they take their environmental consciousness and responsible consumption pretty seriously. After all, this is the country that passed a law requiring a big deposit on soft drinks with carbonation resulting in Coca-Cola stopping production of their Coca-Cola products in cans some years back.
Even the popular beverage Bionade is organic!
My story today is about the ubiquitous German drink, Apfelschorle. A shout-out to my good friend, Sergio who narrated this experience, of his initial days in Germany.
Sergio was at the house of a German friend he had met and he was asked if he would like a drink. He said yes, and his friend got out a glass and proceeded to pour apple juice into the glass. He stopped when it was about half full and to Sergio’s consternation, he poured in sparkling water into the juice to fill up the glass.
Sergio of course thought, “If he wants to dilute the juice, he should at least have the decency to do it in my absence!”
Experience later taught my dear friend that this was the most popular drink in Germany, one that you can buy pre-mixed or make yourself, by mixing sparkling water with apple juice.
I sometimes think of my initial days in this country when the ways in which it was different from India seemed unflinching and stark … and soon enough strangers, people on the street, professors and acquaintances who were later to become close friends slowly but surely paved the way for my growing love for Germany.
The friend’s friend who gave me clothes because my baggage allowance meant I was ill-prepared for a German winter; the colleague who showed me how to navigate the intimidatingly huge university library; another colleague who took me through university bureaucracy with laser-like precision- what would my experience have been without them?
First impressions aren’t everything after all, are they? Just like you just need to take a few sips of the apfelschorle to know that it isn’t just watered-down apple juice.
